The used system came with Mario Tennis, and I separately purchased Virtual Boy Wario Land. I’ve occasionally checked eBay over the years to see how much the system costs in 2021, my wife took notice on our shared eBay account and inexplicably bought me one before I could explain why I wanted it, which was good because I never could have come up with a worthwhile argument. The Virtual Boy is my biggest Nintendo blind spot, which is ironic considering it is the Nintendo console most likely to make me go blind. Knowing all this, I have still always wanted to play one.

For context, Nintendo’s second worst-selling console is the Wii U, which sold about 13 million units. Fewer than a million Virtual Boys were sold.

Sales were so poor that Nintendo abandoned the system within months of its release. Eye strain from playing is such a concern that the default settings of every game force you to take a break every 20 minutes. You play by staring into a headset that must be placed on a table, which hurts your back. Useless dual D-pads are the least of the system’s problems. I remember standing on my tiptoes in a Sears department store, straining to hold my head against the headset to catch a glimpse of the future with Mario Tennis, all while trying to figure out why I needed two D-pads – a question that eludes me to this day. Virtual Boy Wario Land takes advantage of the Virtual Boy platform, which eluded me most of my life.

Download Virtual Boy Wario Land